The Mess

Kathmandu, the city that sleeps

2007-06-18T02:24:56Z

I walked home last night through the dark back streets of Kathmandu at mindnight . The only thing that stirred were the many stray dogs and the distant meowing of gentle cats. The entire city is deserted by night, but you'd never guess it at 5:00 in the morning when the air fills with the alls of roosters, the bells of puja (worship) and the songs of prayer.

In the mornings I climb to the top of the six story tower of a house I am living in, as I ascend the stairs I pass the kitchen where the eldest daughter is preparing curry for breakfast , then I pass Indu , the mother of the house , kneeling and burning incence ropes in prayer, until I finaly emerge ontop the flat open rooftop to look out over Dillibazar, my residential area of Kathmandu. From here I can see countless women washing and hanging cloths, I can see the small shops that many families run right out of their homes . There are no closed shop doors in Kathmandu, the stores are all open right onto the street .

Yesterday I I caught a bus (which does not take the time to stop, only to slow down so you can jump in) and road it, no bigger than a large van, with 12 odd Napelese men and women . I jumped out after handing the driver 13 rupees, (20 cents) and headed through the secret back alley to enter into the most breathtaking site yo u can imagine. I stood, an ant, before a stupa (buddest pyrimid/tower) that rose up into the sky . Ropes covered in tibetan prayerflags streched all the way from its peek to the wall infront of me , whipping in the wind. I walked past this site and into the beautiful, colorful and reverent monestary where I will be teach the young monks to speak english, not because tourism in such a big industry in nepal, but because the head lama looks out at the world and sees english speaking people lost and suffering and he wants to share with them the Dharma (religious philosiphy) that has brought him peace and joy.

This city , this country , this universe , is more vibrant and alive than I can possibly share.

I send you all my love.
I hope this summer brings enlightenment and peace to you all,
Namaste,

When I wander through my Mind it is a Forest

2007-02-08T04:32:16Z

I think I've all the way lost my pen-pal from New Zealand. It's strange. It upsets me more than I expected it to.
It's such a strange feeling to let go of a new piece of what you were raised to believe. It's light. It's nice. Light is nice. And it feels like nothing can weigh you down. To think there are a thousand more things to let go of that will keep taking me to the next level.
Maybe I have been known to claim that I've suddenly changed completely. Well, I'm Dylan, and even though with every passing moment I loose who I was, and am entirely new, change happens slowly, and I'm changing in a positive direction.
And I've been sick for the last 5 days. I missed church. I hate this kind of dibilitating sicknes. But I'm getting better. I think I'll be back to full by Friday.
So I've been thinking about how we humans seem to group everything together in arbitrary piles; black, asain, male, female, hippie, lawyer, Libra, Capricorn. And I guess I'm wondering, is there a use to it. I mean, I am just Dylan Glenn, and if you consider me seporately from all those catagories, you'll get to know me better, but are they still useful in some way?
(If you think of an answer, I'd love to hear. But I'm not that interested in thoughts, I really anly want to hear it if you feel it too. Its gotten really hard for me to swallow words that seem like just thoughts without any heart. Anyway,)

Peace,

childrenatplay @ 2007-02-03T01:49:00

2007-02-03T06:57:31Z

It's been a long time since I've been here.
Shit, a lot has happened in the last month. I've been picked up, dropped, kicked aound, spat on and left lying out in the cold, and I've never felt so comfortable with myself. It's strange, but experiencing the real, deep pain that comes from taking the risk of loving has really shown me how much I can handle. I'm a pritty powerful guy. And I have the ptential to get all the way to the center. I know I can escape all the distractions, attractions and dependanceies, and really get to that place I know exists.

It's been a long time since I've been here, and I'm not sure there is anything left for me in these dusty pages. I'm writing to an audience that has likely walked away ages ago. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't go back now. I've got me, God, and a couple poeple I have really let in, but I get to go up from here. This is just the begginning. It only gets better from here.

I'm tired, wiped out, exhausted, but I've got so much further to go. And I'm not even close to giving up. I wonder who or what will join my life next.

childrenatplay @ 2006-12-22T12:16:00

2006-12-22T16:16:28Z

This is just a little too poetic.
I;m the last one on campus. My dorm is closing in a minute and I;ll be out in the cold, wandering around Williamsburg. I kind of like it. Having to face down this place, with none of the friends I've made, without the comfort of a place to be or the security of knowing I belong. I don't belong anymore. I withdrew. When I swipe my card, the doors don't open anymore. They've changed the locks on me. So I'm just a visitor again, but thats ok. I think I'd like to be the visitor more often. Setting down roots doesn't sute me right now.

Time to go.
I'll try and keep my eyes open long enough to remeber this feeling.
It's peaceful to have nothing, even if only in a moment.

It's all a matter of perspective

2006-11-13T07:48:06Z

I think of how impossible it is for anyone to ever completely understand me. No one will really ever know precisely what I have experienced. And the tought makes me feel so alone.

Then I think from a different direction.

And let myself be amazed that someone can understand me at all. And that every little bit forms connections, connections that may never really die. And then I feel connected, knowing that I'm so very far from being alone.

childrenatplay @ 2006-11-08T20:06:00

2006-11-09T00:06:15Z

It's hard for me to keep studying when all I want to do is create.

childrenatplay @ 2006-09-29T17:08:00

2006-09-29T21:08:40Z

My roomate is watching a hospital show, and the patient just flatlined.
They take those two big pannels and they blast his chest; his whole body convulses. They try to thrust him back into consciousness. -Zap!-
I think that life is doing the same to me right now. It's time for me to wake up. -Zap!-
I need my heart to start beating. -Zap!-
Not really again. More, for the first time.
*thump*thump*thump*thump*
And the TV doctors are succesful.

childrenatplay @ 2006-09-17T00:51:00

2006-09-17T04:51:55Z

The funniest thing happened to me; I woke up today and realized I went to college. I'm not on a vacation, or some internship that will soon end, and I'm not going to return home, to the life I knew. This is my life now. This is my home now. And I think thats ok.

I think I'll make some tea and then go to sleep.
Goodnight.
-Dylan H. Glenn

childrenatplay @ 2006-09-01T22:47:00

2006-09-02T02:48:34Z

When I first got here the water was all wrong. And tasted and smelled like the ocean. I've only been here a week and I already can't tell the difference.

College?

2006-08-30T01:17:19Z

So, in theory, and with somewhat relitive ease, I could Major in Religious Studies, and Sociology, and Minor in Mathmatics and Art. But then I would have to give up some Philosiphy and English classes, and I would have to give up Physics all together.

So most likely, where I stand right now, I will Major in Religious studies and Minor in Fine Art and Sociology.

Everything is well. Things are beginning to fit together. Once the surface is broken, the earth is soft.

Peace,
-Dylan Exists Glenn

The Cusp or something

2006-08-26T03:32:14Z

Dylan Glenn
CSU 4913
PO Box 8793
Williamsburg, VA 23186

Write that^ on anything and stick it into a mailbox and it will show up in my nice little silver lock-box. And if you call and it jumps right to the answering machine leave me a message, because my room sometimes doesn't get reception, and I'll call you back.

Thanks for helping me become the person I am. I owe you one. Or two. Well, thanks anyway.

I'm going to do just fine.

Peace,

childrenatplay @ 2006-08-24T08:38:00

2006-08-24T12:38:55Z

Virginia, what have you got for me?
I guess I'll just have to find out.
Peace,

Must we keep paying penance to the Past

2006-08-17T20:35:12Z

So we all have our story, right? Every single person has there story, tragic, comical, and uplifting; but what if you didn't? What would be the consequences of having no recollection of your past at all? You are still who you are, you simply don't know how you got here.

Would it be harder to get to know people? Or, I guess, it might be harder for people to get to know you. You would have no past to share with them, no explaination, no excuse, for who you are. Or would that create the perfect chance for someone to truly get to know the real you, without clouding their mind with their own pithy interpretations.

This all leads up to my real question; Can I simply let go of the secrets of my past, realease them to the void, and never look back? Is that ok?

I wish you all good traveling,
Peace,
-Dylan

childrenatplay @ 2006-07-05T10:45:00

2006-07-05T14:47:28Z

I wonder if they'll recognize me. Maybe its good to change so much that I have to start all over with so many poeple. Maybe I'm scared. I'm definately excited. Goodbye for now. I'm off to the woods.
Take care everyone,
I love you guys,
Peace, -Dylan

That Funny Feeling of Having it Together

2006-07-01T21:03:15Z

I've got it together. I've got things in their right places. I'm in the state I want to be in. Now it's time to do something with it.

We're standing on the edge

2006-06-13T05:18:16Z

Shared a cigar for the last time as children. Next time things will be complicated, with pasts weighing us down.

Shoulder to shoulder, in the trenches, protecting my back, sharing the night watch.

Thank you, for kicking me when I was down. Thanks for pushing me around. Now I've got my footing. Thanks for growing me up, and talking me down. Because without you, I wouldn't be half the man I am. And to pay you back I'll be twice the man I am now.

Ethan, I owe you as much. I owe you as much.

Just Some Meditations on Death

2006-05-24T02:54:40Z

Death is a kiss that never ends.

But first I have to save the world.

Is death like when you get called off the court in a basketball game, your coach pats you on the back and says what a good job you've done, and you take a seat? Or is death getting called into the game? Maybe this is all simply preperation.

Or maybe life is something barrowed, and eventualy the Reaper comes to collect the debt. But if thats the case, why is it that those who have loved that person most pay the greatest price.

Death is fasinating.

Death is powerless against me, for now.

My Advice

2006-04-18T03:12:09Z

People used to take the things I said more seriously. Now they don't, and that's my fault. But if people would listen to me, this is the advice I'd give them;

-Deal with the natural first. If your own body is out of control, then very little else will stay in order. And the harder it is to get up, out and exorsize, the moreimportant it probably is.

-Drink more water. The essence of life. All organic things depend on it, and as far as I can tell, virtualy everyone doesn't drink enough. And one thing I realized is that the more dehydrated I am, the grumpier I am. Seriously, drink more water.

-You've got a choice. You can assume that there is no God. That everything but existance itself can be explained by logic. Or you can assume that God exists and see every amazing aspect of this universe as evidence of God's remarkable existance. Pick one. I choose God. But I'll I'm saying is, pick one, don't let yourself choose lack of beliefe as your belief system.

-When everything looses its meaning and life feels empty, draw joy and interest from your senses themselves. Really focus on tasting your food. Completely draw yourself into the feeling of a breeze through your hair, or the warmth of a heater against the back of your hand. If you can't reason your way into happiness, instead find it in the world around you.

Now, like Alice, I need to learn to take my own advice. And I need to start working to earn back the respect of the people in my life. Just you all wait, you''ll see. Take care everyone.

-dylan glenn

A hand of choices

2006-04-01T02:21:30Z

So along I go, living my life, and then the path splits five ways;

-I attend the college of William and Mary in VA
-I attend the University of San Diego in CA
-I attend Case Western Reserve University in OH
-I attend BACON in Bryn Athyn
-I take a year off

This is your chance to give me serious advice that will help me to make this decision. Or sarcastic advice that will entertain me. But mostly actual advice. Anyway, please give me any thoughts that pop into your head, thanks,
-dylan glenn

childrenatplay @ 2006-03-29T22:43:00

2006-03-30T03:49:36Z

I just woke up
I just woke up

Candleshoe (what a great movie)

2006-03-26T02:41:06Z

You know whats funny to me; so many poeple feel uncomfortable with me mentioning God. I know so many teens these days with dirty mouths just for the shock value, and yet the thing that shocks them is when I say God.

I am a Christian, though my beliefs look more like that of a Budhist. I am indeed a Chrisitan. Lets have a party.

Oh, and I'm going to be in Virginia, visiting Caroline and her college. Peace,
-dylan glenn

P.S. Do something so sweet that you remeber why your alive. Seriously.

childrenatplay @ 2006-03-16T21:51:00

2006-03-17T02:47:14Z

As the ice melts away, I amfinding out what I always knew.

I'm realizing;
I work best under pressure.
Music makes me think, and when I think I make music.
The worst moments and the highlights of my life together make all the drama insignificant.
There is no limit.
There is no limit.
I fall in love with art that can never last.
I will do almost anything to make a cute girl smile.
All I truly need to be happy is to let go completely and hold on till my knuckles turn white.

And yet, the one thing I still don't know is rather simple. What does Dylan really want?

If you think you know, you should tell me, because you all probably can see so much about me that I can't, and I'd much appriciate the help.

Peace, -dylan glenn

Global Candy-land

2006-03-13T03:06:48Z

Hey guys. I realized something today that I think might make my life a little better.

I used to let the game get me down. You know, the human game. That thing we all play as people, thrown onto this earth with green things and little furry animals. The game where we smile and frown and say hi and make love and kill eachother. You know the human game? Well, the truth is, I like it. It's fun. And when it comes down to it, I'm happy to play the game.

Haha, what a good game. And the rules are so funny. Guys need to find girls. Girls need to find guys. Some guys want guys. Some girls want girls. But in the end thats a huge part of what drives the game. Servival, and the desire for love from other people. It's such a funny game. And I'm going to play, and it's going to rock.

Peace, -dylan glenn

Brutus, I hand you the knife

2006-02-14T22:44:50Z

This is great!

Cut me to shreds.

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Dylan%20Glenn

Seriously, anyone who does this, I will respect you so much more. Or atleast I'll think your really cool.

If you want to do something really exciting and fairly rash, call me. I'm in the mood to test my Teenage Invincibility.

Peace, -Dylngln

childrenatplay @ 2006-01-31T00:09:00

2006-01-31T05:07:01Z

Today, yet again, I resist the temptation to sink back into my mind; To let my imagination overwhelm me entirely. In my head, I can paint a river with my finger tip and then watch it come to life. I can write a song, singing two parts at once, while playing guitar faster than these pathetic physical hands will ever move. And then I can watch as the music wraps around me, spins, hovers, and then drifts away in the wind. I again fought the desire to succumb to pure creativity, and leave the world behind.

Hahaha. No, but seriously, I am focusing on art again, and its making my life a lot better.
Haha, peace,
-Dylan